Three Weeks

Now, I know I will probably not be able to keep the weekly updates coming but until I don't, I will. Brielle is beautiful and inspiring. We are so in love with her. We love to see those huge brown eyes staring up at us and are captivated by her presence. So much and yet so little happens everyday. When Tyler leaves to work I feel like it will be forever until we see him but day after day I'm surprised to hear the garage door open so soon. She is really good at doing her job; eat, sleep, poop, cry, burp, and let us love her up. She hates her carseat, but we're doing our best to figure that one out. I've really been paying attention to her crying patterns that my cousin taught me about years ago. I'm convinced they work. Dunstan Baby Language, super cool. Brielle isn't just crying, she's telling me if she's hungry, needs to burp, tired, uncomfortable, gassy--so empowering as a first time mom. Like magic.

Everyday is surreal. I cannot believe that I get to call this amazing child my daughter. Tyler and I just sit and pinch ourselves sometimes, we at time still cannot believe we get to call this real life. The gratitude we have is eternal and overflowing. It's difficult at times to know how to express how much love we have for our little family, but we know that just as time heals, it will manifest our love and appreciation for this gift to Kelly and to God. Our Heavenly Father's plan for us is greater than our own and He sees so much more clearly than we do. No wonder He was able to send His only begotten son to earth to endure such hardship and pain, He knew how it would end up.

In my mind's eye I saw a beautiful vision this week. One that I also shared with Brielle's Birth mom, Kelly. The events may be only imagined through my mortal eyes, but the feelings and lesson still rings true. I saw Brielle waiting to come to our family for to what seemed to Tyler and I an eternity. She was aware of the efforts we would make and she too in a way waited in anticipation for pregnancy to eventually happen, feeling a sense of disappointment with every failed attempt. She saw our preparations, pleaded our case. It was so clear that we were ready for her to come, we were ready to be her parents. She heard the prayers of people not only on earth but in heaven pleading for her mortal life to take place in our home, in our family. But it just wasn't happening. She saw the pain we were going through, and though we never gave up, she saw our need to "be still" and wait upon the Lord. I imagine that she understood our need to rest, but she and others didn't stop working to make it happen. She was courageous and trusting enough to come to earth through someone else who she loved, believing in her because of her true charity, true love and own personal courage. I cannot speak for Kelly or her family, but I have seen Brielle's love for them already. She locks eyes with Kelly and it is very special, she is speaking words of gratitude and understanding through her silence. The spirit of God is always so near. She has saved our weary and tired souls in more ways than one. We find hope again for our future through her existence. I know that there is much more to this story, and to think I've learned this much just in three weeks of changing poopy diapers and mixing formula *wink. I have a feeling this little girl has a lot more to teach us, just as God has a lot more for all of us to learn about His great plan.

Thank you for hearing what my heart is saying, even among imperfect expressions through words.

We love Brielle everyday more. What sacrifice and courage it has taken to finally meet her. Our hearts are so very full.

-Kamden and Tyler