Miracles...You'll want to read this one!

Okay Brielle is now five months, she is AMAZING! Our first Christmas as a family went super well, and we are looking forward to a fun packed year of goodness. 

I shared my testimony in Fast and Testimony meeting today. This is something I've been wanting to do for months but haven't because every Sunday I would feel that my gratitude and the magnitude of the blessings we've received were just too difficult to convey in a few short words and minutes in front of my family ward (congregation).  

Last night I was getting ready for bed a little earlier than normal and as I was brushing my teeth, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling in my soul that I needed to study the scriptures. It persisted so constantly that I could hardly put my toothbrush away fast enough and head to my bedside table to pick up and open the word of God. 

My scriptures opened up to Matthew Chapter 7, a most excellent set of teachings by our Savior, my thirst was beginning to be satisfied. Two hours later I had been led scripture by scripture by the spirit to know and see exactly what it was I needed to know.  I had studied all four standard works by then and written this testimony which I shared today conveying in it's simplicity my immense joy and gratitude for a Father in Heaven who loves me and is aware of my every need. How grateful I am for our God, for his spirit and for the learning and direction I was given last night to write down the feelings of my heart. I love Him so much for leading me to my hearts song. 

I hope you read it, and read it until the very end. His promises are sure, hold on to the promises. 

January 4, 2013

When I was in seventh grade I visited a mosque of the Muslim faith. As I talked to the head religious leader, the Imam he soon learned that I believed in Jesus Christ. From this point on he tried to discredit my beliefs with a single question, “Where are the miracles?” His point was that Christ performed awesome miracles while he walked the earth but today there were no such things. Truthfully in my thirteen-year-old mind I had to really think, “Do I know of any miracles in my life? If Christ does live, surely He would still perform miracles.” The budding of my own personal witness of the Savior’s miracles must have begun there in that mosque, “Where are the miracles?

Mormon uses a somewhat Socratic approach to lead to the bearing of his witness, “Hath miracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven…behold I say unto you Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought” (Moroni 7:27, 37). The more I started looking for miracles as a young teen the more I saw them. Miracles do not have to be published in a sacred book of scripture to be of God, they do not have to be broadcast on the news or in print on the front page of the paper, miracles are how God shows His love for His children no matter how great or small, “If ye then, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in Heaven give good things to them who ask Him?” (Matthew 7:11).

Is a miracle any less important or sacred just because it has been performed multiple times? I’ve learned, no. “And now after the many testimonies which have been given of Him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of Him: that He lives!” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:22) “And behold, there were divers ways that he did manifest things unto the children of men, which were good; (Moroni 7:24).”

I have been holding back from bearing my testimony formally and publicly of the miracles in my recent life not because I am not grateful but, I had lost some sight of my “sacred opportunity and responsibility” to gain and share that testimony, even though it is not perfect (True to the Faith; Testimony). This testimony of miracles is so sacred to me that I did not want it to be heard just as “another person’s miracle” without the value or reverence I hold so dear. But now I see there is no shame in proclaiming that God has performed another miracle on the earth no matter how common or uncommon it may be. This miracle gives glory to our Savior, our Redeemer and our Great Heavenly Father and His plan of Happiness! He has wrought a great miracle in me and I am to testify that He is not dead but lives and loves to bless all His children.

Tyler and I waited nearly five years to be blessed with our daughter, Brielle. The road was filed with medical, emotional, spiritual, and physical battles. The story of how she made her way into our family is one that in my opinion should be published in a book of scripture – I have learned of the great courage the spirits now coming to earth must possess – and the trust that they place in Father in Heaven to make everything right in the end. I understand more clearly what true sacrifice looks like and how much God truly cares for us due to His sacrifice of His Son.

The moments of heart-ache, the pain and the darkness are all so tangible when we feel alone even as we righteously seek God’s will. At times His redemption seems all too far away. In my hardest moments, I questioned if I was good enough to one day be able to feel redeemed. But among the darkness sweet hope and faith came through, glimmers of His warm touch, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).  This was a simple miracle in my journey, the manifestation of His love, even before true redemption came, He let me know I had not been forgotten.

Brielle did come, and our joy is full. Our own imaginations could have not dreamed up the love we have for our little girl, and the gratitude to God that overflows for his miracle. “And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as my pain,…there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy” (Alma 36: 20-21) As Brielle turned four months old, I learned that despite the doctors diagnosis that I would never bear my own biological children, I was indeed pregnant. Yes, God does nothing half-way. “Prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10) I am now 12 weeks along, and doctors have confirmed a viable and healthy pregnancy. They are highly optimistic that everything will continue well, we have seen our other little one via ultrasound, heard the heartbeat and pinch ourselves everyday for what God has brought to us. I must testify of God’s great miracles and his perfect timing.

Some like that questioning Imam may still ask, “Where are the miracles?” To them I would say they are in the smallest phrases of comfort as well as the largely developed stories such as this one, redeeming Tyler and me from infertility and childlessness. Your story may sound different or similar to mine; you may still be in the darkness waiting for a glimmer of hope, or on the verge of your own great miracle.

My message is the same to everyone no matter your circumstance, God is not dead, He is surely alive – He knows and loves you. His miracles are real, His love is immeasurable and if we will but, “Be Still and know [He is] God.” We will one day be redeemed weather that is sooner or at a later time, I promise it.

In the name of my redeemer, Jesus Christ,

Amen